I just read finish a very long story which ppl read it in 3 days. Me read it in 5 hours. Its is as what the title say. I read this kind of story a lot and this is one of the best story i ever read. This guy must be suffering a lot now even things happen so long ago.. I wish i could tell you my friend i feel you cause your not the only one who encounter this. I love your story i can understand how you feel when someone who was once close with you and that person just say sorry im not going to contact you or see you anymore again. Someone who you share everything with just dissapear and im not talking about girlfriend. What my ex gf did is just something i have expected that it will happen one day. Best friend i do miss having this best friend, we use to work together,chat ,eat and smile and laugh together. This is not love. And ever since she left, everything changes. Its never the same without her and yes it a her. And trust me during that time i never despise her and always wanted to be there for her, joke with her, eat with her and just simply enjoy the day. We could just joke about anything. I remember her saying that she did not like to work at this station but she went to join me and i believe i once told her thank you a lot for doing this. I believe that was when i let her to enter my world somewho dislike doing stuff that she does not like but because as a best friend she do it. For me that is it she is worth to be my best friend. And before being close with her, i do admire her as someone who work fast and smart. I like her workstyle and after all she is my mentor. I remember we are not really close till just one fine day when we were working today and we share our problems. And you told me something important to someone your not close with. It mean you trust me and i hope you know till now nothing has ever come out from my mouth since that day. I am a person who do thing fast when i see a lot of thing fast and trust me it was her who make me did better in my working place, i learn thing here and there for her. And that why she is my shifu. I guess i end it here not that im tired of have nothing to write. Is that this memories will make me think a lot


I will just be talking about random stuff that i thought about when i cannot fall asleep like right now. I guess im still use to not sleeping early :) First thing i wanna talk about is what i read on stomp just now through my friend posting. It stated that this guy was gonna married his first love after 12 years. So i was thinking for me but it is crazy that if i say i were going to consider having a relationship with my first love. It will never happen i guess she is always her. I like how this guy story goes but then i dont think it  always happen to individual but i believe its true that we tend to compare the current bf/gf  with out first love. Just like someone used to tell me that she always will tend to compare. Is it really that important to compare? Does comparing make you feel more happy? Safe? I dunno i just hate ppl who compares too much. Its just ridiculous that it tend to happen that way. Second thing i thought of was of course golden village. Those memories were always in my head and will just pop out sometimes. You know i have been having hard times trying not to think about it much. But it always happen that way that i will think about it. I just miss everything there ok not really everything. But for me to remember those stuff means its important to me. But things have change there and there are not really much ppl i know there. I just dunno what to do but just feeling sadness. I really wish i could turn back time and let those stuff happen again. Maybe not all the stuff that i want but mostly. I guess thats all i wanna write for now. So goodnight


I am a person really really have a lot of patience and i aint joking about it. For those people who really know me will know about. Im not a person that leave when you make me wait too long but then there must be a god damn reason. For that my ex-girlfriend know how long i waited for her. I really hate it when someone push me to my limit and trust me my limit is not easy to break. For ppl who know it will know how much my limit is. In the past i do cry a lot, i would just say that i have no one that i can talk to and share even in primary school somehow somewhat i knew that  my family will break out eventually one day. And yes like right now its is that way. But the me now i wont say that i never cry. Ppl may look down on me as a person who frequent cry. And for your info im like a girl and i cry  more than a girl. I could cry when a teacher just shout sit down. Im scared. From young whenever my study is not well i get punish. Kneeling down on durain shell? Holding a pail of water for hours?? Get burn by candle. Who gotten it before. And worst my dad hit me with a fucking guitar and the scar is still hear and im not joking and since then i got use to something call 'pain'. Since the first time i get torture like this the second it does not hurt anymore. It created something call hate. Yes i hate my fucking life. Since young, in school i cant even afford to buy a fucking 50 cent noodle to eat. I always think of eating it but since primary 2-5 i haven eaten the canteen noddle before till primary 6. Im that poor and i hate it a lot. I cant afford any shit. In secondary i get to eat here and then but still it was not enough. Just imagine ur dad is earning 4k plus- thats what my mum says. And he just give you 1 dollar a day. This is the pathetic life that i get since young. In ite i get a comment from a girl who ask me what shirt size am i wearing. Yes it is xs and i was half happy and sad. Im underweight because i dont have fucking money to eat alright. Not because i train. but yeah i do train and play basketball like every single day. Another comment that i get was i dont have a fashion sense. And yes u know what i really dont have. I dont have confidence in myself when it comes to wearing of clothes. Cause i dont even have the choice of thing that i wanna get for myself till now. But even so till now i haven touch my own nets card before. Its not like that i dont have but i feel that i dont need that shit anymore. I dont understand whats the point of saving so much money in the bank, Sometimes i really wanna get something impt and i have to get questioned from my parents like a police. Like Why do u need those kind of stuff? Yes im pathetic even now it was my ownself who did something to get some money for myself since i cant work. Im trying to improve my life more and more. And yes im fat now. I admit but i love it. I love that i eaten food that i nvr try be4 and i tried them already. I enjoyed what i have before ns. I will nvr blame those friend who said those kind of stuff because they do not know anything. I only can blame myself from being useless. And right now i have something to make my dreams come true but i dont have the money. Even asking for a one dollar from my mum sometimes its fucking annoying. I wish someday i could success. And yes my dreams are big. I have a lot of things that i want to do. Wishing is no point but thats the onli thing that i can hope. Im waiting for my chance. And to those ppl out there who are older than me and always saying to younger ppl that you mature. Go and fuck yourself like right now. Yeah my parents always think that my big brother is more responsible i will let them be. Since they think that something are always things that he done. Then so be it.


I like to see this office lady in tuas. Cause all the time when i see her she is wearing dress :) She is definetly older than me by a lot. But if there is a chance i hope i could know her as a friend. Really always a good morning when i see her :) oh well for girls who always wear dress will always get my attention a lot. Ah yeah its not really impt. But for me i prefer girls who always wear dress than short. Maybe its a fetish for me to be like this. But i cant help but when to look at girl who wear dress :)


Well i really dont wish to think about it. But somehow it came back to me again and makes me think about it agn and this time its with this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpZLMdZJ1jY. I dunno whether its still ur fav song or what. But ppl do change here and now. Even it is not what can i do? Even it is what can i do? Nothing will be the answer for this. I really love this song a lot thanks to you. But i just hate to think that we are not even close friends anymore. I know its not ur fault and thing will happen like this. Ever since i left gv and you also left. I guess it was meant to be like this. Once a job ends, everything mostly end down there. I missed the past a lot esp times with you my old best friend. I wish i have to courage to text you but here am i with my fear. And i just think that its better not to do so. As i dont want the same thing to happen again just like the past. I hope your doing good and do take care. Sincerly me


Hi :) currently on duty and i cant fall asleep. Well im just feel like writting something about girlfriend. Im really not expecting much from the girl i love. I dont really need you to be very pretty. I just like girls who wear dresses, if they tie their hair it will be ponytail and i dont like girl who makeup a lot. Yeah i know girls wanna look good on themseleve but for me it does not matter at all. I like to hold my girlfriend hand a lot, cause i feel secure when i do that. Unlike my exgirlfriend, holding her hand does not last long and because of that she always dissapear out of nowhere. Truth is i hate the relationship i had with her. I do feel happy when im with her and comfortable. But when things happen most of the times im the one who is giving in to her. But what does she do? She will always remember the bad times but not those good times. I pay for her bills, lend her money when she does not have money. And what does she say i dont remember borrowing so much. Im not a money minded person but if i really did lend you those money, and yes i did. And u know what i said about u saying to your friends about how bad im as a person. U know what? those were those most nasty shit i heard and even worse than my friend and futhermore you were my girlfriend. God damn all those good things are like nvr happen be4. Onli those negative stuff were always there. And fyi i did not talk about you in front of my friend. I lied to you because it really shows that you change and you do not know me like how you do last time. To my future girlfriend, i really dont ask for much. If can we shall see


Well life these few days has been great. Just a little tight on this month that i have range,ippt and amb course. Good things is im going to amb course on the 19-21 and it will be awesome as i get to sleep at medical center and its super shiok to sleep there. Cant wait to be a amb driver and sleep down there. Feel like sleeping in a hotel and now i know why my friends like to become amb driver. Other than that im a cat b driver and i get to drive back alone most of the time now. Feel good although its kinda bored without someone to talk to but its feel more peaceful. And 6 more months to finish this army shit. Really hate it and after i ord i have to my lifestyle again. it sucks that way. For now that all im gonna say. Goodnight